2BU & Coming Out

2BU & Coming Out

If you think you may be gay or lesbian, it might really get you down. You might feel very frightened, you may feel very alone because you don't  really know what it means and you're terrified of what other people might think should you ask some questions.

You are not alone in what's going on in your head. Many gay and lesbian people feel terrible before they come to terms with who they are. This is not because being gay or lesbian is bad but because often gays and lesbians are seen as the butt of jokes or talked about in a very negative way at school or out and about or even at home. But remember even many straight people get joked about or talked about negatively for all sorts of reasons. It doesn't make any of it right. Most of the time though people get carried anyway and don't actually mean to be cruel.

It really helps if you can talk to someone and get some support from someone you can trust.

Confidential Support

  • Andrew or Matt, details in the Contact us section or our website
  • You can speak to your Connexions PA at school or in one of the offices 
  • Connexions direct have a confidential service and can be contacted by phone, text, e-mail or web chat and is open from 8am to 2am the following morning every day of the year!

 

Other helplines

  • BLAGS Bristol Lesbian & Gay Switchboard

We provide information and support to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and transvestite community. We also provide support to people concerned about issues to do with their sexuality, as well as to anyone with concerns about a friend or relative.

  • Our lines are normally open from:
    8pm to 10pm Monday to Friday.
    Tel 0117 922 1328

London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard (LLGS) provides an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men, bisexual people and anyone who needs to consider issues around their sexuality.

  • The help line operates from 10am -11pm seven days a week all year round  Tel 020 7837 7324

Having come to terms with your sexuality is one thing, telling other people and begining to understand your feelings about people of the same sex is another. It is your choice to 'come out' when you feel ready to.

 

Coming out

Coming out can be like preparing for a bungee jump

Coming out is a bit like preparing for a bungee jump - some people hang on to the edge too scared to jump, but they know inside that they want to. Some people are forced to, because everybody knows. Some people just go for it. Once you have jumped there's no going back!

Some pros & cons of 'coming out'

  • You can be honest about yourself.
  • You realise who your real friends are.
  • You can be more open and relaxed.
  • You can surround yourself with people you can be 'real' with.

 

  • Losing certain friends who have a problem with your sexuality.
  • Bad reactions from family members.
  • Some people close to you might find it difficult.


How do I tell my parents about me?

There is no single, sure-fire way of telling your parents that you are Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual. Just as no two families are exactly the same, so the method, even the words, will vary from one family to the next. Many reactions are common to all families, and knowing this, it is often possible to work out the best method for your family. Very few parents imagine that their children could possibly be Lesbian or Gay. Even those who may have had suspicions may still feel shocked, sad or angry when confronted with the fact. Try to understand this. You have had, perhaps, several years to gradually come to terms with the fact that you are Lesbian or Gay. Your parents, when you tell them, will maybe have had no time at all. Do you want to tell both your parents at this stage, or only one? Most of us find it easier to talk to one parent than the other when something is bothering us. Is there a relative or family friend it would be better to talk to first, either for advice about how to tell your parents, or for help in telling them?

Choose your moment. All families have times that are right for talking and these are usually better than trying to create a moment. Sometimes events make this choice for you. When something is on your mind, it can build up to such a point that it simply spills out. Let it happen. Your subconscious mind often knows best about these things. Also, be prepared for one of your parents making the first approach. They may have found something that alarms them, or feel that you have something on your mind. You will be caught off guard and feel trapped. Admit that you are lesbian/gay or bisexual and say you would like to talk about it. That is enough to start with. People want to tell their parents that they are lesbian, gay or bisexual for many reasons, but mostly these are to do with honesty and love.

 Information supplied by FFLAG